I went out running last week. It was a beautiful morning
and without somewhere to get up and ‘go’ for yoga I can’t help feeling a little
caged and contained, resulting in a general aversion to practice or a lot of
corner cutting without the appropriate level of focus.
I guess it’s just another symptom of ejecting myself from
London and missing having a dedicated Mysore space. It’s been irritating me and
it’s affected my practice, causing me to lose focus.
So I decided that on this particularly Wednesday morning
I would take myself off for a little woodland jog. I used to be a big runner
before yoga came along – every morning 6am without fail I’d run along the river
in Norwich, from New Mills Yard where I used to live down to Pulls Ferry and
around the Cathedral. Then when I moved to London it used to be Hampstead Heath.
I lost count of the amount of times I’d go out for 30 mins and 2 hours later
return hot and sweaty and knackered but happy. There was something very special
about running through the woods at dawn.
In the absence of Hampstead, Mousehold Heath is a reasonable
substitute – the view over Norwich from the Prison is almost as pretty as
seeing London from atop Parliament Hill (ok, well not quite but it’s nice
nevertheless).
5 minutes in, pre-occupied with how the sun shone through
the branches and leaves above paving my way through the undergrowth, I tripped,
stumbled and suddenly noticed the ground closing in.
I crashed down on a rock and skidded down an incline.
Unimpressed I picked myself up and muttered at the inconvenience of it all –
determined to have my run – and prepared myself to carry on.
My knee had other ideas. Upon closer inspection I
realised that there was a significant chunk of flesh missing. 4 stiches, 3
hours and 1 ‘I’ve been a good patient’ penguin sticker later I sat on the sofa
a little crest fallen, wondering ‘How am I going to practice yoga now?? I won’t
be able to do it!’
‘I won’t be able to do that’ is something I hear all the
time in class, now I’m a teacher. There
are many that exclaim in exasperation ‘I just can’t do yoga – I’m not flexible
enough…’ or ‘I’m not fit enough’… ‘My body wasn’t built to do that…’ and anyone
who has ever had to work at anything (or watched Flashdance) has probably found themselves saying the
same thing at some point.
But let me share a little secret with you. The point of
yoga is not to ‘do’ yoga.
There is a yoga sutra that goes a little something like
this…(1.14) When that practice is done
for a long time, without a break, and with sincere devotion, then the practice
becomes a firmly rooted, stable and solid foundation. (Sah tu dirgha kala nairantaira
satkara asevitah dridha bhumih).
The truth is, Yoga doesn’t care how flexible you are! It’s
not interest in who you are. It is completely disinterested in your age - your
postcode - your salary bracket... All those things that we usually allow to
define us in everyday life DON’T MATTER!
You see yoga is a process. An unfolding. An unravelling.
It returns us to who we are, by showing us who we really are, beneath all that
noise of mind chatter and ego.
Not being able to do something is one of life’s greatest
teacher – as is injury. How we react to things, how we approach that which we
can’t do, how we feel, breath and move out of our comfort zone reveals to us
something about ourselves, that perhaps we did not know.
Practice takes time. Anything that is worth while takes
time! The important part is showing up, breathing, flowing and surrendering
ourselves to whatever happens – with wholehearted acceptance. Over time we
shift, our practice changes – challenging ourselves is the only way to truly grow.
Yoga requires mental strength as well as physical strength, which won’t happen
over night.
We have to let go. We have to lose ourselves and forget
any expectation we have, in order to allow ourselves to be fully present.
Patanjali talks about this in the Sutra’s through the
concepts of Abyasa (Practice) and Vairagya (non-attachment).
One compliments the other - Doing yoga is less about
achievement and more about putting in the work, without attachment to the
outcome. (And, enjoying the ride!)
When I first started a consistent Ashtanga practice I
remember having real battles with my ego. Hauling myself through rounds of Sun
Salutations that refused to flow, getting hot and bothered when my hands wouldn’t
bind in Marichyasana C (let alone D) and bursting into tears every time I tried
to do a headstand.
I would come to the mat with this attitude of needing to
attack my practice, as though it were an enemy to be conquered. My body, my
will - against it. I think that this is pretty much how I’d always pushed
myself through most things – all the running, the daily spin classes… whatever
else I decided I needed to accomplish, I simply tore it to shreds and I got a
kick out of that. But, there was no respect there: for it or myself.
I often ask my students to take a moment to tune in to
themselves, feel into their bodies and check in with their mind, then honour
how they’re feeling on that day. After
all, there are lots of factors that affect how we feel and our bodies change
daily, as does our practice, depending on how much sleep we’ve had, what we’ve
eaten, stress, mental attitude, the moon(!), how physically fatigued we are and
where you are in your cycle (for women), etc.
It’s important to
respect if we feel tired or sleepy, over-active or energised, and practice in
harmony with that. After suffering from Chronic Fatigue and injuring myself on
numerous occasions, I think I have now (hopefully), finally, learnt my lesson.
I realised pretty early on in my practice that if I was
going to have any hope of progressing I really needed to become unconcerned
with progress itself. So, I made an agreement – whatever happens on my mat is
of absolutely no concern to my ego or my mind. Then I let go.
It wasn’t a golden ticket or a quick fix – because the
truth of the matter is, I will always be learning. But it allowed me to side
step my mind and look at thing more objectively… both on and off the mat. And
soon I found I stopped labelling things good and bad – this or that – and began
accepting it as experience and learnt from it… both on and off that mat.
So, for anyone thinking about starting yoga, I would urge
you to drop this concept that ‘doing yoga’ is the goal. It isn’t. Just begin. Take
that first step towards something new. Sow the seed of intention and then let
it all go. You will see yourself grow. Yoga will bring you back to yourself, return
you to your true nature and help you discover your true potential. It is the practice of self-realisation.
Things take time and training. Guru-ji isn’t famed for
having said ‘Practice and all is coming’ for nothing.
Although I have had to stop asana practice for a week or
two, on account of stitches, I’m really rather grateful since they’ve made me appreciate
my practice all the more and come back to it with fresh insight.
So here are a few things to bear in mind when you begin
yoga;
1. Focus
on being present
2. Breath
3. Let
go of expectation or expectation
4. Surrender
to the moment
5. Keep
practising
6. Set
your sights on where you want to be, but then accept where you are
For more details on new classes in Norwich visit; www.Samyamawellness.com
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